Some of my exs are still friends with me on facebook.
Occasionally, they post something interesting and it makes me curious about how they’re doing. And so I go snoop a little….
The good men I used to date are now happily married and already had their firstborns. They’re great fathers to their kids. Most of them are in the transition of buying their first home. Many of them are doing really well in their chosen careers. Sometimes I wonder the awful “what ifs”.
What if I didn’t break up with him.
What if we ended up together.
What if we had a child together.
What if it was me in those wedding photos.
What if that was me in her place.
Damn, I’m so much hotter than his wife. I wonder if he still thinks about me……
After a while, I know I made the right choices because I don’t want any of those what ifs even though these guys seem to have the perfect life. They take good care of their women. They give so much to their children and they make great husbands. But I still don’t want to be with them. Then or now. I’m pretty happy with who I’m with now and that’s never happened before (this is a pretty big deal, I just realized).
One of the guys I dated was as perfect as you can get them. He promised me everything a girl could ever ask for. He did everything perfectly and it made me sad knowing that I could never reciprocate his feelings or actions. I broke up with him because he was a good guy who deserves more than I can give him. I told him he would be happier without me.
And I was right. Look at him now. He has a pretty wife who loves him and she gave him a child. She’s probably a proper lady and she probably goes to church every Sunday. She probably bakes, cooks, cleans, takes care of their child then takes care of him when he gets home. She probably doesn’t have “issues” like I do. Now they’re in that pretty little house with white picket fences and big windows. Picture perfect family. I’m happy for him. I never could have given him something like that.